I'm sitting in the Frankfurt lounge - have 3 hours before the flight to Bangalore. Its our first trip back since my dad got sick, and we were all nervous. I think my mom is most nervous out of the 3 of us, because she keeps telling me and my dad to relax. Um, yeah, we are ok. Are you?

I'm so worried about leaving them alone in India. Sure they will have people to help them, but those people are paid to. Its not like they will go out of there way or give that extra special touch. They don't care like I do. And its embarrassing for my dad to admit his disabilities as a result of the stroke. In the last week I have come to realize that he is almost completely blind in his left eye. Its a hard adjustment for him - he keeps thinking he can keep doing things the same as always, but he can't. And there are certain adjustments we can make so that he would be more comfortable, but then he resists that, because he doesn't want the "handicapped/ disabled" label.

I wish I could stay with them for the entire trip. But they have to get along without me and I have to go back to Miami to that darned office.

The last four months have not been what I thought they were. I'm working all the time, and then I'm so tired I don't do anything else. I miss Arun alot, and I'm not hanging out with any friends. I've got to change that after I get back to Miami. But I guess I'm ready to do that now. This period of transition, of readjusting to my old home, my old city and this company, I guess it called for me to be a hermit. Now I am more comfortable with the situation. At least, it has settled in that this is permanent. I'm not going back to DC anytime soon. I am working for my father full time. Its been hard to accept but its sunk in now.

Somehow, I am afraid my dad's time here is short. And I need to hurry up and movc on with my life. Meaning get married and have a kid ASAP. Run dad's companies successfully so he doesn't worry. Get a house, be a boss, be a mom. Um, maybe I'm putting too much pressure on myself. But I want to make the most of the time he has left with us. And I want to make the most of my life everyday. I don't want to waste anymore time, I feel so short of it.

One thing I should start doing is working on the book on his life. To start, I think I need to carry a digital voice recorder and just taping conversations together. Interview him and transcribe - put things in his own words. At least that would give me a creative outlet - instead of crunching #s all day.

The verdict is in. My parents do not "dislike" Arun and are willing to let us move forward with marriage. I was so surprised that my rents did not give him a harder time. Yes they got straight to the point about 10 minutes after he walked through the front door. But they seemed to be satisfied with his answers and after a couple of days of observing him and me interacting together, I think they even warmed up to him. I had prepared myself for some kind of battle, and now I'm overwhelmed that, jeez, it went well!

What was so weird was how naturally Arun fit in to our household. There was no awkwardness at all. It was like he was an 0ld family member visiting after a long time. It was like he lived there! I think my rents were taken aback at how "modern" our relationship is - in that I do not serve him, cater to his every need like a good little Indian wife would. And that he is so helpful to me.

He met Sheeba and the kids, and Pappachen uncle came over for one of his drive by, eat lunch and run visits. I think they all left with a favorable impression. We spent a lot of time with my brother, which was important, and I think they came to an understanding. The only one who reserved judgement was Heema, who barked at him everyday. I think she was like - who the hell are you?

So I am massively relieved that this part of my life is moving foward. The next steps are for Arun to go talk to his parents in person, for my rents to talk to them, and hopefully for me to meet them. This might happen by January. In the meanwhile, we will be preparing for Arun to move down by February I hope. I have to find a place by then I guess, and have no idea when that will start as I am still just adjusting to being here myself. I think its been officially one month since I moved home. Surreal, peeps, surreal.

Friends, I'll be moving to Miami in one week. Ack! I decided to start using this site to keep ppl regularly updated on my life.

Moving the blog to Carepages.com

This is a more interactive site that will allow visitors to leave messages for my dad. Go to the website http://www.carepages.com and look up his page, under the name Rajan Sachariah. You will have to register and sign in, but this will allow you to access the message board and will send you an email alert each time I post an update. Hope that Dad can start posting messages himself in a few weeks!

I'm leaving tonight from Dulles and should reach Bangalore by midnight (india time) on Monday June 4. I'm hoping to spend at least 3 weeks there but will stay however long they need me to. I wish Henry could come out too, I feel bad for him to stay by himself in Miami, but he trying to be responsible for Dad's company in his absence. Maybe we can switch places for a while and he can come up to Bangalore and I'll fill in for him in Miami. Of course I'm thinking way to far ahead in the future - I just need to get there for now.

I hope these web blogs are easier for people to access - with the 10.5 hour time difference, its hard to find the right time to make a phone call. Please forward these websites to whomever you think would be interested. I hope at least it maintains the prayer chain, as it seems Dad will need patience and understanding to recover and overcome the affects of the stroke.

On the road to recovery

Mom and I finally got a hold of each other. Her flight was delayed a few hours, and our friends in India waited at the airport into the wee hours of the night for her arrival. I caught up with her at the house, after she returned from seeing my dad.

He has shown marked improvement. His vital signs are normal and his facial paralysis is gone. He has some weakness in his hands but other than that, physically he is ok. The problem that remains is memory loss and speech comprehension. He still didn't recognize people in the room, but recognized my mom immediately. He said "I know Leela" and held her hand. That just breaks my heart.

His swallowing reflex is normal so in addition to the IV, they will be starting him on fluids. He will be moved from the ICU to a regular room. Anyone can send him flowers - he's at the Sagar Apollo in Bangalore, address is

#44/54, 30th Cross, Tilaknagar, Jayanagar Extension, Bangalore – 560 041. INDIA

My bro and I think that his memory will come back gradually - probably just a result of the trauma he experienced. His speech can come back with some therapy. Tomorrow my mom will get to the hospital at 9 am sharp. There will be a neurology consult and discussion of some more procedures, but I'll know more tonight.

He was scheduled to come back to Miami on June 16, but I think that his return date is indefinite at this point. I think they will stay there as long as he needs to recuperate and is safe enough to fly, so Henry and I are planning to travel there and make arrangements for things in Miami.

Please keep up the prayers for his continued progress, a renewal of his strength, and for our family. Thank you all for your support - Henry and I are so relieved that our parents are together now and that my dad seems to be out of danger.

6:13 AM Bangalore Friday, June 1

I haven't actually talked to her yet - I know that her plane landed almost 2 hrs ago. She must have cleared customs and picked up her baggage by now. My dad's business manager went in the car to pick her up and they have a special pass to go visit my dad now - its 1:50 am over there.

Heard that my dad's best friend Ramesh was able to visit with him today - my dad is already asking when he can get out of the hospital. I take that as a good sign.

For more info on strokes, take a look at these websites

http://www.ninds.nih.gov/disorders/stroke/stroke_needtoknow.htm

http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/stroke.html

Now I only hope that my mom has taken all her meds and has eaten - last thing we need is for her diabetes to act up as well...

Update on dad: Good News!

Thanks everyone for their prayers, concern, and words of encouragement. Times like this it does make an enormous difference and I really appreciate it.

I spoke with Dr. Menon this morning at Sagar Apollo Hospital. She's really nice and gives me alot of detail and always answers her cell phone. Basically, he is doing better after 48 hours. He has shown no negative progress. His response time is quickening and all other parameters (blood pressure, kidney function, blood sugar) are normal. And best of all, there has been no extension of the stroke. He is not out of the woods yet though - he needs to be in the ICU for 72 hours to monitor his progress and watch for symptoms of another stroke. She said that at this point, it does not seem that he will need surgery on the carotid artery, as the stroke was due to a blood clot and not buildup of plaque. She said they did a Doppler scan of the artery and could not find any significant narrowing.

So he could be transferred out of the ICU in the next day and begin his recovery. His limbs, memory and speech recovery will be determined by the progress he makes today and tomorrow, so keep your prayers coming. She said that his speech comprehension has been affected most by the stroke, so this will take some time to recover, with speech therapy etc. Like I said yesterday, I can't imagine how frustrating this will be for him, for a man who is recognized and takes pride in his eloquence.

I managed to get a few hours of sleep last night. This morning, before I woke up, I had a dream. I dreamt that I was on the phone with my mom, who was in the hospital room. She was exhausted, but hanging in there, relieved to be by his side, and was giving me the update. In the background, I could hear the noises of the hospital room - the IV beeping, nurse chatting - and I heard my dad's voice. He was talking normally - sitting up in his bed and just wondering what all the fuss was about. I asked my mom "Is that dad?! Give him the phone!" And to my astonishment, my dad chided me (as usual) for being overly emotional and said "there is no problem, i'm fine, and can handle myself". Of course he can. So when I woke up this morning, that sick feeling was gone from my chest, and I felt relief, that he is going to be okay.

So everyone, keep checking the blog for updates. I'll let you know how it goes. With affection, Anitha

I got a call at 6 am Wednesday morning from my mom - my dad had been admitted to the hospital and was in the ICU - he had a stroke. He only left Miami on Saturday! Just got there on Monday. Then Tuesday night he wasn't feeling so good and my mom got a bad feeling. She kept calling him over and over and he didn't answer. Finally he answered and said he felt terrible. She could tell something was wrong - he sounded confused and was in pain. So she called everyone within reach to rush over there. He was in the guest house by himself - it was the middle of the night and all the help had left. He was all alone - that just breaks my heart.

My dad's best friend and his son came over as soon as they could and took him to the hospital. By the time he got there, docs said he was confused, didn't remember anything that happened and didn't even recognize the people who brought him. His best friend for the past 50 years - he didn't recognize. So my mom packed her bag last night, got a ticket for this afternoon, ran to the office to sign the checks and stopped by the bank. My bro dropped her off and she's on her way. I only hope that she gets there and he is recovering - and nothing happens in the meantime.

I called the doctor who said it was a mild stroke - he is fully conscious, now is less confused, can move all his limbs and can comprehend questions. It seems to have affected his speech - he knows the answer to the question but can't express it verbally. Poor dad! anyone who knows him will say how articulate and eloquent he is! This has to be so frustrating for him. He can recover, but the next few days are so important. He has in increased chance for a recurrance - they are monitoring him, he's on blood thinners, but of course the diabetes is complicating everything. She said she could not give me any more answers and we will have to wait and see. They may decide to do a surgery - to remove the plaque from his brain, the area of the clot. So of course I went online and did my research - its an ischemic (is-keem-ic) stroke - caused by a clot in the carotid artery. Its not hemoragghing.

But eerily enough, we all knew this was coming. My dad keeps saying his time is up, as if he wants to make this prophecy come true. I knew the way my dad is - he would keep going full steam ahead until one day he just dropped - and that is exactly what happened.